OHHHHH YEEEAAH, it’s time to be another one of *those* people and tell you what 2025 has taught me. Only truths, no BS xxx
1. Don’t listen to other people’s advice about what they’ve learnt.
And na, I’m not just saying this because it’s helluva ironic. But, because we need to learn to make our own mistakes. How boring would the world be if we only ever followed the lifestyles and methods and processes of people who never got stuff wrong, eh???
You’d have one hangover and that’d be it – you wouldn’t touch a drop of the fun stuff again. BOOORING.
There wouldn’t have been all of those accidental discoveries, like Viagra. (Yes, seriously.)
And there certainly wouldn’t be any reality TV, because you’d KNOW the producer was lying when they told you they’d find you ‘the one’, with the small catch of getting married to them at first sight. Didn’t anyone watch the first season?
People, we only get one spin on this planet and it’d be boring AF to get things right first time, every time. Get comfy with fucking up. Make the pocket dials. Forget your second cousin’s brother’s son’s birthday once in a while. Let your mate order the curry with the three chillies next to it on the menu because he’s a grown man and can ‘handle the spice’….
..he can’t.
(Er yea, and that’s all coming from someone who lives for being right!!!)
2. There is such thing as too much Champagne.
I figured this out the hard way – naturally. My mum got married back in May (she made it down the aisle for the second time before I’d even got to have a go, tragic) and to say I got merry would be an understatement. The family hasn’t called me ‘Champagne Gabs’ since for no reason. (Secretly I love it though, obvs.)
Did I get through a bottle during the reception drinks hour? Probably.
Did my mum’s husband (‘step dad’ feels a little dated considering I’m 29) order me a bottle to drink by myself during the wedding breakfast? Oui.
Did I proceed to buy a shit-tonne of Champagne throughout the afternoon and well into the evening? According to my credit card, yes.
And did one of said bottles slip out of my hands onto the dancefloor just after I’d bought it? My granny – and the entire wedding party – would tell you ‘yes’. (She wouldn’t tell you that she was an absolute TROOPER and replaced it immediately, but I’m not as humble as she is.)
Were you greeted by a round of APPLAUSE as you walked into the dining room the next morning? Let’s just say it felt as though you’d won The Traitors, given the amount of cheers and claps you got from 30-or-so fresher-faced-than-you friends and family members.
Take it from me – there is such thing as too much Champagne.
But also take it from me that you only get one spin on this planet. So when life gives you Champagne, drink it. And drink too bloody much of it.
3. I need to get my ass to the mountains more.
The peace.
The space.
The freedom.
The beers, the cheers.
The whizzing, the spinning, the dancing, the singing.
The smiles, the miles.
The achy feet, the people you meet.
The knowing looks, the not-giving-a-fucks.
The freezing air. The runs you dare.
The SKIIIIIIIIING.
As soon as I glimpse that first spot of snow from the window of the car winding up and up the mountain roads, nothing else matters. It’s like I’ve been holding in a fart for months and I can finally let it out. (You thought I was gonna say breath, didn’t you? It’s Christmas, we’re allowed to be a little crude.) ‘AND RELAAAAX’ is what happens to my body and my mind as I take that first breath of mountain air – it really is incomparable to anything else – and I feel home.
It’s been years since I spent more than a couple of weeks in resort at a time, but it’s genuinely the place I feel the most ‘me’. It’s the most realistic version of magic I can think of. When I left Zermatt after a pretty eventful season (IYKYK), I was afraid the experience would tarnish my feelings towards the slopes, the lifestyle, the magnetism of it all. Thank fuck it didn’t, because I’ve had some of my best days under blue skies on my skies since.
It’s ridiculous, really, that I don’t make it out more often. (It’s not that ridiculous considering how much dollar a ski holiday is when you’re not paying mates’ rates, but still.) So I reckon it’s time I put my big girl pants on, my head down a little further, and work this booty off to make it happen more often. The mountains are my place, and I’ll be damned if Reeves’s budget takes them away from me, too.
4. The best lists stop at three items.
So we’ll leave it there.
(Really.)
Now what?
I think this is probably one of the crappiest things I’ve ever posted, but it’s CHRIIIIISTMASSSS, so who gives two flying baubles? I’m sure you’re all drowning in mince pies and mulled wine by now, anyway. (And if you’re not, why not???)
Big fat wishes to you all for a merry jolly sparkly magical dizzying Christmas. I’ve got a few treats up my sleeve for 2026, so you better be here to see what the girl who was once told by a guy* she was dating that he ‘wouldn’t be arsed if he woke up tomorrow and didn’t see her again’ has in store for a brand spanking new year. OH YEAH.
*to her face!!!
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